Derek: Oh my god, I’m still in here, what time is it?

Tanya: It’s five in the morning, why are you so surprised? We made love

Derek: I know we did but I wish I hadn’t, I better get back to Susan

Tanya: Are you regretting what we did?

Derek: I’m too confused at the moment, I’ll see myself out

Ciara: Mam?

Tanya: Hold on a minute Derek, yes Ciara?

Ciara: Are you talking to some one in there?

Tanya: No, you must be hearing things

Ciara: Yeah I must be

Derek: I’ll see you (Tanya disappointed)

Annette: Where did you sneak off to last night?

Gareth: What?

Annette: I went into your room last night and you weren’t there

Gareth: Oh I had to go around to Paul for something

Annette: At eleven o’clock in the evening! Come on Gareth, I’m not that stupid, you were off seeing your girlfriend, weren’t you?

Gareth: Yes I was, but don’t expect me to reveal who it is! (Annette smiles)

Caroline: After Derek hit John with the chair, Pat threw them all out

Clive: Sounds to me like it was a rowdy night

Caroline: It sure was. I’ll have to clean up the mess when I start today

Clive: I don’t envy you there!

Daniel: How was last night mam?

Susan: I can’t remember much to be honest

Daniel: Don’t tell me you were drunk mam?!

Susan: Yes Daniel, I was

Daniel: I never thought I’d see the day!

Brian: Anything exciting happens dad?

Derek: …Eh… (Still thinking about Tanya)

Susan: Are you with us this morning love?

Derek: Oh yeah, I hit John with a chair

Brian: Fair play to you

John: I’ll kill him

Naomi: Calm down love (cleaning cut)

Nellie: That looks like bad, what happened?

John: Derek Johnson hit me over the head with a chair, the plonker

Nellie: I never thought Derek was a violent man

John: He’s a maniac and I’ll have my revenge!Thanks to him I'll hvae to phone the garage and tell Max Townsend that I won't be in

Nellie: That ruins your chances of winning employee of the month!

Ciara: How was the party last night?

Tanya: Very eventful. Derek hit John over the head with a chair

Ciara: My word, they’re a very rough bunch around here

Tanya: How was your night?

Ciara: Very exciting!

Tanya: There’s no need to be sarcastic (phone rings)

Ciara: I’ll get it…hello?

Duncan: (on phone) Hello Ciara, its Duncan here

Ciara: What do you want? I told you keep what happened a secret

Duncan: Don’t worry Ciara, I haven’t told anyone about last night, meet me in the park as soon as possible

Ciara: I’ll see you then

Tanya: Who was that then?

Ciara: It was a wrong number, I’m going out, see you later

Tanya: Bye!

Betty: Have a great time Tina. I hope you come back with a nice tan

Tina: Thanks Betty, see you

Ray: You must be delighted to be getting away from Hemsford

Tim: To be honest Ray, I’m not

Ray: Why?

Tim: This holiday will just be another excuse for them to drink

Joe: Come on Tim, we’ll miss the plane at this rate

Debbie: Have a good time Tim

Tim: I will, thanks Debbie (they leave)

Carol: You better hope he doesn’t fall in love with some Spanish babe!

Debbie: I couldn’t care less if he did

Ray: You can’t fool us Debbie, it’s obvious you fancy Tim!

Duncan: I’m glad you could make it Ciara

Ciara: What did you want to say to me?

Duncan: I was wondering if you’d like to come to the cinema with me this evening

Ciara: I’d love to!

Duncan: You can! That’s wonderful. I’ll call for you at 7

Ciara: No, I think it would be better if we met here, I don’t want my mam finding out

Duncan: Ok, my lips are sealed

Ciara: With a kiss from me (they kiss)

Owen: Here Daniel, if my parents ask about me, just tell them I was in your house last night

Daniel: Ok, but why?

Owen: Just do it

Daniel: This isn’t a Nike ad you know! (Owen walks away)

Ciara: Hi Daniel…

Daniel: Hi Ciara, do you fancy coming out with me, like on a date of some sort?

Ciara: I’d love to but I’m afraid I can’t, maybe another time?

Daniel: That would be great (disappointed, walks away)

Linda: Chatting you up was he?

Ciara: He sure was

Linda: And did it work?

Ciara: Linda, I’m in a dilemma. I don’t know whether I should go out with Duncan, Daniel or Owen

Linda: You’re spoiled for choice, I think you should go out with all three of them, then you’d know which one you like. Maybe not Owen though.

Ciara: Why not?

Linda: Because he’s not your type

Ciara: Thanks for the advice Linda, you’d make a good counseller! (Linda worried that Owen might like Ciara more than her

Nellie: Well Bernie, it looks like you’ll be opening the pub soon

Bernie: Yes we sure will, the builders are nearly finished

Nellie: I’ll be glad when it opens, I could do with a job

Bernie: I’m sure there’ll be one available

Nellie: What are you going to call it?

Bernie: We haven’t decided yet (Pat walks by)

Pat: The Rubbish Dump would be a good name

Bernie: I think Pat’s in a bad mood after last night

Nellie: I heard you threw everyone out

Pat: It was nearly closing time anyway

Nellie: I better be off I’ll talk to you about that job at a later stage

Bernie: See you Nellie

Pat: You and Jack won’t beat me Bernie, you’ll see

Duncan: I’m going to the cinema tonight mam

Tracey: With who?

Duncan: Ciara Powell

Nigel: Are you going on a date?

Duncan: Yes dad, as strange as it sounds I’m going out with a girl, do you have any objections?

Nigel: No, not at all, just treat her with respect

Tracey: I hope you enjoy yourselves

Ray: I’m sure Duncan will enjoy snogging Ciara!

Duncan: Shut up Ray

Nigel: I’m flying to Paris today

Tracey: That’s where we first met, they call it the city of love

Ray: Hemsford is the city of love as far as Duncan is concerned!

Derek: Tanya! What can I do for you?

Tanya: I think you know why I’m here Derek, it’s about last night

Derek: I’d rather forget about it Tanya, it was a big mistake. I love Susan

Tanya: I don’t think you do Derek, you don’t look like you’re in love

Derek: How dare you judge my marriage, get out!

Tanya: I’m going Derek, it’s just a pity we won’t have any more fun, see you gorgeous! (Derek confused)

Brian: Hello Tanya

Tanya: Hello Brian, I’ve got a bandy tap, would you mind having a look at it, I’ve heard you’re good with your hands

Brian: I’ll be in later on

Tanya: That’s fine

Jane: Hello gorgeous

Brian: Jane! (They kiss) Tanya, I’d like you to meet my girlfriend Jane

Jane: Pleased to meet you Tanya

Tanya: You look very much in love

Jane: We like to think so, we’re getting a flat together. Anyway let’s go upstairs for a workout if you know what I mean

Brian: Bye Tanya!

Tanya: I’ll wipe the smile off Jane’s face (determined)

Damien: I’ve brought some samples for you to look at

Agatha: Very good, I shall give these a thorough investigation

Malcolm: Listen Damien, we were wondering…

Damien: Go on

Malcolm: Seeing as we are good friends, could you give us a discount of some sort?

Damien: I’m not sure I can Malcolm

Agatha: Brenda even said that if it weren’t for this job the business wouldn’t be doing well

Damien: Which is exactly why I can’t afford to give discounts

Agatha: Well Malcolm, it’s obvious Damien isn’t willing to give us a discount so we’ll just have to forget about it

Damien: Ok Agatha, I’ll see what I can do, I’ll let myself out

Agatha: Thanks Damien, goodbye (Damien leaves)

Paula: They’re so stingy, aren’t they?

Ken: Poor Damien sounds like he could do with all the money he can get

Malcolm: Paula, your mother and I have come to a decision about your recent exam results

Paula: Have you? I can feel a lecture coming on

Agatha: We’ve taken on board your feelings and on reflection we have to admit that we have pressurised a lot.

Ken: You have!

Malcolm: Stay out of this Ken. So Paula, we’ve decided to set you up in a private school. That way you won’t be distracted

Paula: What?! (Shocked)

Agatha: It’ll certainly help your exam results, we’ll talk about it in more detail another time

Ciara: That was great Duncan, I really enjoyed myself

Duncan: It was even better being with you

Ciara: I want to thank you

Duncan: For what?

Ciara: For making me feel important, my dad never did

Duncan: What happened to him? If you don’t mind me asking

Ciara: He was arrested years ago for armed robbery, he’s still in jail for it

Duncan: Do you ever visit him?

Ciara: I did the first few times but he never wrote so I didn’t bother after that

Duncan: Are your mam and dad still married?

Ciara: Yes they are, but only in the eyes of the church

Duncan: How about we go back to my place?

Ciara: Yeah ok (They kiss)

Bob: Some fight last night, wasn’t it?

Ollie: It was unbelievable but I wasn’t pleased to see John getting hit with a chair (sees Derek) Hey Derek, think you great now, do you?

Derek: John only got what was coming to him

Bob: John will get you back for this

John: This is it Derek, it’s time to end this once and for all (raises fists)

Naomi: No John, don’t!

John: What are you doing Naomi?

Naomi: Its time we ended this silly feud, let’s just put our differences behind us

Susan: I couldn’t agree more

John: Ok, I’ll do it, but only because of you Naomi

Brian: Where is leaked tap?

Tanya: It’s just in the bathroom

Brian: You should’ve called a plumber

Tanya: Oh I think you’ll do (sucks his lips seductively)

Brian: I don’t think we should be doing this Tanya

Tanya: I won’t tell a soul (they kiss passionately)

Brian: No I can’t! (Tries to stop her kissing)

Tanya: Come on Brian, you know you want to (Brian kisses her back)

CAST LIST

Derek Johnson

Tanya Powell

Ciara Powell

Annette Butler

Gareth Butler

Caroline Butler

Clive Butler

Daniel Johnson

Susan Johnson

Brian Johnson

John Smith

Naomi Smith

Nellie Dobson

Duncan Lowe

Betty Foley

Tina Griffin

Ray Lowe

Tim Griffin

Joe Griffin

Debbie Cook

Carol Dobson

Owen Lennon

Linda Foley

Bernie Connors

Pat Stevens

Tracey Lowe

Nigel Lowe

Jane Harris

Damien Lynam

Agatha Andrews

Malcolm Andrews

Paula Andrews

Ken Andrews

Bob Lennon

Ollie McCabe